Maybe you know someone who is bothered by the thought of being a bother? I do, her name is Melissa, my wife of 24 years. Could be her Swedish (read stubborn)¹ ancestry, or could be witnessing at age 12 her mother’s suffering and eventual passing from the relentless drum of pancreatic cancer. Melissa made a promise to herself when we began our own family, swearing to give our boys the adolescence she never had. Now she tells me often that she feels tremendous guilt for “putting us through this.”

I tell her #fuggetaboutit we’re #inthistogether.

Queue the music!
Artist: Chicago
Album: Chicago 16 (1982)
Track: Hard To Say I’m Sorry / Get Away

The Unofficial Sorry Count

1.
Nurse: “I can’t find your drain port, it must be underneath you.”
M: “Sorry.”

2.
Nurse: “I’m going to bring in more pain medicine to see if we can help get that scowl off your face.”
M: “Sorry.”
Nurse: (laughing) “Don’t apologize, you’re scowling because you’re in pain.”
M: (not laughing) “Sorry.”

4.
(At 3:30am after a sponge bath and bed linen change that aggravated the stapled and stitched pancreatectomy incision running vertically from just below her breasts to below her navel)
M: (to me) “I’m sorry.”
Me: “Why’s that, Babe?”
M: “Because I’m not doing so well.”
Me: “You’re doing great, Babe.”
M: “Not today.”

5.
Doctor: “On a scale from 0-10, how’s your pain today Melissa?”
M: “I think a 9, sorry.”

6.
Nurse: (placing a stethoscope on Melissa’s back) “I want to  listen to your breathing.” 
M: “I’m burping, sorry.”

7.
Nurse: “My shift is ending so I’m about to give a report to your next nurse. I just wanted to get you settled into your new bed first.”
M: “I’m so sorry.”
Nurse: (surprised) “Hey, no need to apologize, it’s my pleasure.”
M: “Sorry.”²

8.
Nurse: “Feel up to a shower?”
M: “No, sorry.”

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¹I can say this because I’m also stubborn—I mean—of Swedish descent.

²Seriously?

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Copyright © 2020. Russ Stark. All Rights Reserved.