Maybe you know someone who is bothered by the thought of being a bother? I do, her name is Melissa and she’s my wife. Could be her Swedish (read: stubborn)¹ ancestry, or could be from witnessing at age 12 her mother’s suffering and eventual passing from the relentless drum of pancreatic cancer. Melissa made a promise to herself when we began our own family, committing to give our boys the adolescence she never had. Now she tells me often how she feels tremendous guilt for “putting us through this.”
“Sorry,” she says. “Give me a quarter,” I reply. #fuggetabottit #inthistogether
Queue the playlist!
Artist: Chicago
Album: Chicago 16 (1982)
Track: Hard To Say I’m Sorry / Get Away
A Glimpse of the Unofficial Sorry Count
1.
001
Nurse: “I can’t find your drain port, it must be underneath you.”
M: “Sorry.”
2.
002
Nurse: “I’m going to bring in more pain medicine to see if we can help get that scowl off your face.”
M: “Sorry.”
Nurse: (laughing) “Don’t apologize, you’re scowling because you’re in pain.”
M: (not laughing) “Sorry.”
4.
003
(At 3:30am after a sponge bath and bed linen change that aggravated the stapled and stitched pancreatectomy incision running vertically from just below her breasts to below her navel)
M: (to me) “I’m sorry.”
Me: “Why’s that, Babe?”
M: “Because I’m not doing so well.”
Me: “You’re doing great, Babe.”
M: “Not today.”
5.
004
Doctor: “On a scale from 0-10, how’s your pain today Melissa?”
M: “I think a 9, sorry.”
6.
005
Nurse: (placing a stethoscope on Melissa’s back) “I want to listen to your breathing.”
M: “I’m burping, sorry.”
7.
006
Nurse: “My shift is ending so I’m about to give a report to your next nurse. I just want to get you settled into some new bedding first.”
M: “I’m so sorry.”
Nurse: (surprised) “Hey, no need to apologize, it’s my pleasure.”
M: “Sorry.”²
8.
007
Nurse: “Feel up to a shower?”
M: “No, sorry.”
¹I can say this because I’m also stubborn—I mean—of Swedish descent.
²Seriously?
Copyright © 2026. Russ Stark. All Rights Reserved.
